Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Reasons Santa Might Have Picked Elves to Help Him Instead of Humans

1. He was obviously on a power trip. He wanted to stand head and shoulders above his entire work force.

2. He felt sorry for the elves who made the shoes and wanted to offer them something more fun and less stinky to do.

3. He figured elves wouldn't eat as much so there would be more food for him to eat. After all, you can't stay the big, jolly guy if you are hungry all the time.

4. He knew that the elves wouldn't expect health insurance or a retirement plan.

5. He figured no human would want the thankless job of cleaning up after the reindeer.

6. He knew that if he hired humans they'd be playing with the toys instead of building them (especially if he hired men!)

7. He figured he'd have a lifetime supply of cookies since the Keebler elves were the experts in cookie making.

8. He didn't want anybody the same size as him in the North Pole because they might try to overthrow him.

9. He figured it would add more mystery to his existence and make more people question, "Does he exist or not?"

10. He decided he'd never get in trouble over affirmative action because he had hired a complete minority.

11. He had tons of extra doll clothes and needed to hire someone who could wear them.

12. He wanted to feel important since he was the only one tall enough to reach the top of the Christmas tree.

13. Too many of the humans he had tried to hire were hunters in disguise trying to kill the reindeer.

Merry Christmas everybody!!

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